Financial advice for couples
5 money questions you should be asking each other
Money is one of the most common sources of conflict in relationships. According to Psychology Today, arguments about money tend to be harder to resolve because they are tied to values, security, and control. Research published in the National Library of Medicine also links ongoing financial stress to lower relationship satisfaction and greater instability over time.
That stress shows up clearly in divorce data. In 2025, financial problems contributeds to 20-40% of all divorces.
That’s why it’s so important to talk openly about money with your partner. Having these conversations early in the relationship can help couples align expectations, spot red flags, and avoid surprises.
Here are five important money questions to ask your significant other.
Key takeaways
- Be clear on how your attitudes and values align and differ regarding financial goals, security, and lifestyle.
- Determine the logistics of day-to-day money management, and budgeting for regular costs.
- Have a plan for paying down debt, and guidelines around when to carry it longer-term.
- Identify savings and investing goals, and the vehicles you’ll use to accomplish them.
- Have early conversations about estate planning, and set up a plan to achieve goals, and protect each other financially.
Q1: Are we aligned on the same financial milestones and values?
Everyone brings different money habits into a relationship. Family background and past experiences shape how people think about saving, spending, and financial security. One partner may value stability above all else, while the other prioritizes flexibility or lifestyle.
Start by defining what financial security means to each of you. Then talk about shared milestones. Are you saving for a wedding, planning children, buying a home, or thinking about retirement? Clear couple financial goals make planning easier and reduce conflict later.
If marriage is on the table, consider whether a prenuptial agreement makes sense for you. A prenuptial agreement is not about planning for divorce. It allows couples to agree on fair terms early, while the relationship is strong and before stress or conflict can influence decisions.
Q2: How will we handle day-to-day money management?
Day-to-day spending is where many money disagreements begin. Couples need to decide whether to use joint accounts, separate accounts, or a mix of both. What matters most is agreeing on which expenses are shared and which are individual.
Talk through regular costs like housing, groceries, utilities, transportation, and childcare. Decide which purchases require a check-in and which do not. Budgeting for wants matters too. Travel, dining out, and subscriptions should fit into a shared plan, especially when trying to budget couples vacations.
Tools like shared spreadsheets or budgeting apps can make tracking easier. Credit cards also play a role in daily spending. Choosing the best credit card for couples depends on habits, rewards, and how balances will be paid.
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Q3: How will we incur and pay down debt?
Debt needs to be discussed early and honestly. Be clear about what each partner is bringing into the relationship, whether that includes personal loans, student loans, credit card balances, car loans, or a mortgage.
Next, decide how debt will be handled going forward. Some couples manage debt separately, while others tackle it together. What matters is having a plan. Talk about which types of debt feel acceptable, such as a mortgage, and which should be paid down quickly, like high-interest credit card balances. Couples with many sources of debt might consider consolidating their loans.
As finances become more connected, protecting personal information becomes more important. Before opening joint accounts or applying for credit together, take steps to verify identity and use secure platforms. Equifax highlights the importance of monitoring credit activity and being cautious when sharing personal or financial details.
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Q4: How should we save and invest as a couple?
Saving and investing often highlight differences in risk tolerance. One partner may prefer the guaranteed returns they can get from a GIC or high interest savings account, while the other is comfortable with volatility in the stock market. Understanding how to utilize tax-advantaged tools such as RRSPs and TFSAs are also key when saving for long-term goals. Start by agreeing on how much to save each month and what those savings are for.
Emergency funds should come first. From there, talk about long-term goals like retirement timing and lifestyle. These decisions influence how to invest as a couple and whether professional advice makes sense.
Life insurance for couples also fits into this discussion, especially if one partner depends financially on the other. Having a policy in place ensures both partners have a financial safety net should the other pass away, enabling them to keep up with crucial bills such as mortgage payments, car leases, and utilities.
Q5: What do we need for estate planning?
Estate planning isn’t an enjoyable thing to discuss, but it plays a major role in long-term financial security. Start by reviewing insurance coverage, including life, disability, and health insurance. Some couples also explore whole life insurance – which accumulates a cash value that can be left to a beneficiary or accessed during the policyholder’s lifetime – as part of their estate planning strategy.
Talk through what would happen financially if one partner became seriously ill or died. Do you have wills in place? Are beneficiaries up to date? Have you named powers of attorney? These are core estate planning steps that help ensure your wishes are followed and reduce stress for loved ones.
Property ownership matters here as well. Decide whether you want to pass on home equity, downsize later in life, or rely on options like a reverse mortgage to fund retirement. Clear estate planning allows couples to make intentional decisions rather than leaving outcomes to chance.
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The bottom line
Being aligned financially starts with talking about money. Open, honest conversations help couples understand priorities and make decisions together, which is very important considering finances are the primary cause of divorce for 41% of Gen Xers and 29% of baby boomers.
Regular money conversations create clarity, reduce stress, and strengthen trust. When couples stay open about finances, they give both the relationship and their financial life a better chance to move forward together.